Zayn Malik's Blonde Beard Is a Learning Opportunity for Us All Opportunity is Blonde Beard
Zayn Malik has made more life changing decisions in the last week than most people make in a decade. Since he and Gigi Hadid announced their breakup, he got two neck tattoos and a skull tattoo, completely changed his grooming situation by dyeing his hair—and beard—bright blonde, and reportedly bought a fancy new apartment in New York. When the most sound decision you make in a week is buying a $10.6 million-dollar penthouse, you're either having a tough time, or you're Zayn Malik: hair chameleon, tattoo fiend, 25-year-old dude who does exactly what he wants, when he wants.
But wile we appreciate Malik's rebel spirit, we can't entirely support these grooming and body ink choices in good conscience—they break a few of our most basic and most unwavering grooming rules. Yes: in this era of neon buzz-cuts and down-to-there hair, there are still grooming rules you should follow, or at least pay attention to before you break them. Read on below and protect yourself against similar missteps.
1. Don't give yourself a grooming "breakover."
Breakups are hard. If you find a way to channel that pain into something good, you have our heartiest congratulations. (Also, please tell us what you did.) But deep-diving into a new persona is a bridge too far. Go the gym more often, sure, but resist the urge to shave your head down to the skin, get a giant tattoo of a phoenix on your back, or dye your hair an unnatural color. There are easier ways to grieve a relationship.
2. Don't get more than one neck tattoo per year.
Even if you've recently had a life-changing experience, and even if you're the kind of guy who treats his body like a permanent ink scribble pad, space out new head and neck tattoos by at least twelve months. Ink up your forearms all you want—but, for the sake or your mother, future children, and/or elderly neighbors, think skull ink through before going under the gun.
3. Don't dye your beard.
If your beard and your hair no longer match in color, whether through nature or nurture, you've got two options: embrace the off-kilter vibe, or consider shaving one of the two off completely. Don't, under any circumstances, take the dye-to-match route. This was a bad idea on 1990s prom shoes, and an even worse idea on your face. Especially with white-blonde hair.
Zayn Malik has made more life changing decisions in the last week than most people make in a decade. Since he and Gigi Hadid announced their breakup, he got two neck tattoos and a skull tattoo, completely changed his grooming situation by dyeing his hair—and beard—bright blonde, and reportedly bought a fancy new apartment in New York. When the most sound decision you make in a week is buying a $10.6 million-dollar penthouse, you're either having a tough time, or you're Zayn Malik: hair chameleon, tattoo fiend, 25-year-old dude who does exactly what he wants, when he wants.
But wile we appreciate Malik's rebel spirit, we can't entirely support these grooming and body ink choices in good conscience—they break a few of our most basic and most unwavering grooming rules. Yes: in this era of neon buzz-cuts and down-to-there hair, there are still grooming rules you should follow, or at least pay attention to before you break them. Read on below and protect yourself against similar missteps.
1. Don't give yourself a grooming "breakover."
Breakups are hard. If you find a way to channel that pain into something good, you have our heartiest congratulations. (Also, please tell us what you did.) But deep-diving into a new persona is a bridge too far. Go the gym more often, sure, but resist the urge to shave your head down to the skin, get a giant tattoo of a phoenix on your back, or dye your hair an unnatural color. There are easier ways to grieve a relationship.
2. Don't get more than one neck tattoo per year.
Even if you've recently had a life-changing experience, and even if you're the kind of guy who treats his body like a permanent ink scribble pad, space out new head and neck tattoos by at least twelve months. Ink up your forearms all you want—but, for the sake or your mother, future children, and/or elderly neighbors, think skull ink through before going under the gun.
3. Don't dye your beard.
If your beard and your hair no longer match in color, whether through nature or nurture, you've got two options: embrace the off-kilter vibe, or consider shaving one of the two off completely. Don't, under any circumstances, take the dye-to-match route. This was a bad idea on 1990s prom shoes, and an even worse idea on your face. Especially with white-blonde hair.
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